Detox vs Retox

While detoxing might leave you feeling healthier, energized, and pretty smug knowing that you do have willpower after all, I've found that it also has its disadvantages. I am now twenty three days into my detox (not that I'm counting or anything) and have temporarily traded in my stilettos for my Nike sneakers (aka 'trainers' in the UK) - spending more time hitting the treadmill than the dance floor at a nightclub. Dullsville, I know! Cocktails have been replaced with coconut water, and suddenly I'm finding myself outside running early on a Sunday morning with all the yummy mummies rather than nursing a sore head, wondering why ordering another bottle of wine at the end of the night seemed like a good idea. But has detoxifying really been worth the effort? After a bit of experimenting, I've now tried and tested various detox methods worth giving a go to help cleanse and purify yourself, even if the side effects aren't always pretty.

 The Liz Hurley Detox Cabbage Soup Diet

You've seen the results of Liz's trusted detox cabbage soup diet on Shane Warne's now toned and botoxed body. Yes, living off of cabbage soup for a week does help you lose a few pounds - no argument there. Cabbage is also a vegetable known to leave you with intestinal gas, so imagine the side effects of a watered-down cabbage soup-only diet.. Liz Hurley must depend on the plethora of room spray and perfume freebies as the face of Estée Lauder - her house probably needs it!

 Non-alcoholic Cocktails

I'm not sure why cocktails are now called the most extravagant names possible. How does a bartender not judge you for ordering a 'Screaming Orgasm' on the rocks? As if giving up booze for your detox wasn't already socially challenging enough, try ordering a non-alcoholic cocktail. While trying to be good and stick to my detox the other night while out, I actually ordered a 'Safe Sex On The Beach' non-alcoholic cocktail. Sure, you don't feel like you're missing out as much if you have a martini glass in hand, but you probably leave a restaurant with a bit more dignity just ordering an apple juice. While non-alcoholic drinks aren't necessarily detoxing your body, they do make it easier to see your friends, rather than live like a hermit in a cave until the detox is over. It turns out most of my friends don't want to go jogging with me bright and early on a Sunday morning - strange, I know.

 Detox Foot Pads

Although it isn't the most attractive method, I was a big fan of trying detox foot pads, which claim to absorb toxins through the skin of your feet while you sleep. All you have to do is tape a detox pad to your foot before going to bed and voilà, the next morning you can see all the toxins that are now supposedly removed from your system in the foot pad. It can't get much easier than that right? Who knows if these really do work, but if they do, they are a fun and fast way to detox. Just make sure you don't wear these if you're trying to impress that special someone!

Used detox food pads....not bringing sexy back any time soon

Nettle Tea -The Wonder Drink

Apparently nettle is a plant that we should all be embracing like it's the new echinacea. Nettle is known for its many health benefits ranging from fighting asthma, countering arthritis to even treating urinary tract infections (who knew nettle was the new gyno?!). Drinking nettle tea also acts as a slight diuretic helping you flush out toxins. While it may be great for you, it smells like a sweat drenched yoga mat after a bikram yoga class. Luckily it doesn't taste nearly as bad as it smells.

I can't even get in to Malibu Promises for a detox treatment if I wanted to (the waiting list to drink smoothies next to Lindsay Lo sitting poolside is far too long), and signing up for an intensive yoga retreat in India to flush out every toxin in my body is last on my 'to do list.' However, I do think detoxing is worth the hassle if you are only doing it for a short period of time. Sure, I might be sleeping better, have a bit more shoe money in my bank account, and my skinny jeans aren't accompanied by a muffin top atm, but I am missing a flute of champagne to toast to the start of the weekend or a glass of wine after well, anything if I must be honest! I'm hoping my liver is thankful for this January break, because I am ready to ditch the detox and roll on with the retox. Until then, I'm taping on a detox food pad and sipping on a cup of nettle tea before bed. You have got to go out with a bang right?