5 Days On Juice: Diary Of A Juice Cleanser

There are certain habits I was hoping to break when I moved to London from the States. One of them was buying Groupon deals I don't really need. I recently made a special exception when my friend Megan presented the idea of going together on a 5 day juice cleanse with SoulmateFood. Unlike me, Megan is a veteran juice cleanser and she told me how great previous juice cleanses had made her feel. The deal was good and I thought, sure, why not, let's give a juice cleanse a whirl! This 5 day juice cleanse program prohibits any other fluid except water and green tea (say goodbye to coffee and booze). You are sent a box of juices labelled 1-6 and are instructed to drink the juices in that order throughout the day with lots of water. Minimal exercise is allowed. This juice cleanse promises to rid your body of toxins, aid in digestion, and boost your mental and physical activity.

A 5 day supply of juice

I love food and am a coffee fiend, so I knew this was going to be tough. Here is a diary of my 5 days on juice, chronicling all the highs and very juicy lows.

Tuesday 28^th February – Day 1

7:30am: I’m trying to convince myself that drinking chamomile tea rather than Illy coffee to get my day started really isn’t that crazy after all.

9:45am: The 5 day supply of juice just arrived at work! I start sipping on Juice #1, Detox Breakfast (carrot, orange, ginger and superfoods). 

11:15am: So far I definitely prefer Juice #2 – Vitality (pineapple, banana & coconut), which has the consistency of a smoothie rather than juice. Maybe this cleanse won’t be so bad after all. 

Allow me to introduce you to my mid-morning snack... for the next 5 days

12:50pm: Having my second green tea of the morning. Pretending it is coffee. It’s definitely not.

1:15pm The smells of yummy solid lunch in the office are making me sniff the air like a pug. Keep sipping the green tea and all will be ok right?

Slim, sexy, and slurping on juice

2:30pm: I have just finished my 3^rd juice of the day. Quite depressing knowing this is ½ of my daily rations.. how do supermodels do this every day?

3:10pm: Slammed the phone down on a cold-caller at work. Blaming my irritability on the juice.

4:35pm: I just smelt the amazing wafts of my colleague’s piece of toast with peanut butter. I am hungry and have a headache. Why am I paying for this again? On to juice #4 of the day…

6:15pm: Now have a splitting headache – this must be caffeine withdrawal. It’s time to leave the office and cycle home. Definitely feeling rather out of it.

7:30pm: Am this close to eating a celery stick but then walk away from the fridge. A couple of WhatsApp messages with Megan assure me she is feeling the same way and tomorrow will be easier. Day 1 is the worst right? 

8:00pm: Seriously jealous of my boyfriend’s fajita as we watch Supersize vs Superskinny. It seems rather ironic to be watching the chronicles of an anorexic who lives off sugary tea struggle to gain weight as I sip on my final juice of the day.

Wednesday 29^th February – Day 2

10:00am: Feeling fresh-faced and bright-eyed after a great night sleep, my first juice and my second green tea of the morning. Who needs pancakes for breakfast when you can have juice wooo hooo shalalalalalaaaa!!

1:30pm: I have to leave the office for a quick power walk around the parking lot, as the smells from my colleagues' lunches are making my tummy rumble.

2:00pm: Juice #3 of the day, Berry Active (antioxidant blend, cherries & mixed berries) is really nice and I’m surprisingly not as hungry as I would have expected to be by now. My caffeine withdrawal symptoms seem to have finally more or less subsided. I definitely could not do a juice cleanse without green tea.

3:45pm: The juice high has officially left the building. I am feeling lethargic, cranky, I have a headache and I REALLY want a bite of the Jaffa cake that is circulating the office. The afternoon-slump on juice has got to be rock-bottom.

5pm: On to juice #4 of the day, otherwise known as Earth (apple, beetroot & blackcurrant). Would rather watch Lord of the Rings on repeat three times and go on a date with a hobbit than have another juice..

Yep, I would go on a date with a hobbit at this point.. sad but true

9pm: I’m sipping on Juice #6 of the day at home while watching Gossip Girl and writing a blog post on my recent addiction to running. I miss running… and chewing. I hope I feel more energised tomorrow on day 3, which is supposed to be the break-through day when you feel amazing.

Thursday 1^st March - Day 3

7am: I’ve decided a Tracy Anderson mat video will be a good way to kick off day 3. If Gwyneth Paltrow can do this on a diet of kale juice then I can too!

11:30am: On to juice #2, Vitality. My energy levels have definitely picked up from yesterday but man this juice is getting dull…

1:10pm: I’m about as excited as a sloth to have juice #3 for lunch. I’m reminding myself that this is the halfway point of the 5 day juice cleanse... ready to slit my juice-filled wrists I am so bored of drinking juice.

3:25pm: Feeling like Jared Leto in Requiem For A Dream. I thought day 3 was supposed to be the breakthrough day, but that definitely isn’t the case for me. I slurp on juice #4, as I think my body needs a boost at this point.

My doppelganger, Jared

8:30pm: I sip on juice #6, Nutrilicious (strawberry, banana, grape and orange), in my seat at the Kings Head Theatre in Islington while watching La Fanciulla del West with my aunt and boyfriend. Who knew juice goes great with opera?

11:30pm: I’m going to fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow. I have zero energy and day #3 has definitely been the most challenging for me.

Friday 2^nd March – Day 4

7:00am: Feeling like a million bucks today – day 4 is the new day 3! I’ve just weighed myself and have lost 6.6lbs since I started the juice cleanse and my skin is even starting to clear up. Wooohoooo!!!!

Feeling like Kate Moss running in the ocean fabulous!

11:40am: Drinking juice #2 of the day and am honestly not hungry. My tummy has definitely shrunk after no food for 4 days.

2:00pm: My stomach feels like it is caving in with hunger as I smell crumpets in the office. URGH! My sense of smell seems to have heightened during this cleanse. I could murder a crumpet right about now. 

4:25pm: It has been a hectic Friday and I'm just having juice #3 now. Cannot wait until this time tomorrow - the end of the tunnel is in sight! 

7:00pm: By now, I am used to not eating and am not bothered by feeling rather empty. Megan and I have discussed and planned our Sunday breakfasts... strangely, we are both craving eggs on toast.

10pm: I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open to watch Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. 4 days on juice certainly doesn't leave you feeling raring to go on a Friday evening.

 Saturday ^3rd March – Day 5

9:20am: Drinking my last detox breakfast juice! Beyond excited that today is my last day on the juice.

My last juicy breakfast

10:50am: A rushed cycle ride with a heavy bag to Clapham Junction station has left me rather lightheaded. On to juice #2, Vitality, hoping it gives me exactly that.

3pm: I'm off on a brisk country walk after juice #3 and sneak in a catnap after. Although I'm used to not eating at this point, I do feel like a massive space cadet today.

5:55pm: My tea time in the country consists of juice #4, Earth, which I have decided is my favorite juice on the cleanse. Starting to day dream about my breakfast tomorrow...ahh!

8:15pm: Note to self, when going on a day trip, bring all your juices with you. I have just had a mini meltdown at Sainsburys, while grocery shopping for my feast tomorrow. Perhaps being surrounded by food is just too much for me after not eating anything solid for 5 days.

9:00pm: I got home later than anticipated and feel like my blood sugar levels are very low. I snatch juice #5 out of the fridge as soon as I walk through the door of my flat for an instant sugar boost.

10:00pm: Cheers to sipping my LAST JUICE OF THE CLEANSE. Cannot believe I have made it. I'm so excited to wake up and eat breakfast tomorrow that I am bouncing around with excitement.

A bit of a blur, similar to day 5 on juice

I woke up on Sunday morning with a grin from ear to ear, feeling more excited than a kid on Christmas morning. I jump out of bed to make myself my highly anticipated breakfast of poached eggs and smoked salmon on toast with coffee. Believe me when I tell you this was one of the most enjoyable breakfasts I have ever had. 

Breakfast of dreams, literally

After breakfast I felt like a new lease of life had been injected into me. I zipped off to a power yoga class at Tri Yoga and had one of the best practices ever, which speaks volumes as I’ve spent a lot of time on a yoga mat. In total, I lost 8 lbs on my 5 day juice cleanse and I do feel better for doing the cleanse, although I cannot say I would do another one in the near future. If you are nuts enough to think about trying one of these cleanses - even after reading all this - do a 3 day version, snooze in a hammock all day, and definitely do it with a friend. Most importantly, make sure that you stock up on eggs and coffee for that first breakfast!